The Icepick Cometh

THAT'S it? Well, we're not gonna try this again for at least another six-pack. You'd think the future Boston would rate a better episode. Looks like it was copyright 1981 (reading the end-credits). The ones I've been watching last week were copyright 1980, and were much better. But really, when you have a laser-sword wielding hero, a large, animalistic hairy compainon, and a feisty Princess in distress, I guess there's only so many storylines you can come up with, or no? (1:21 a.m.)

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Thundarr falls off a cliff, saving himself with his sun-sword lightsabre non-copyright violation weapon. Thundarr then saves Princess Aerial, the know-it-all raven-haired heroine who totally rides around in a powder-blue bathing suit.

Gorn is another bad guy/misunderstood creature with a John Matusak beard from Caveman the movie and dragon wings. Oh, and snakes for arms. Not kidding. He sounds like The Gimp in Pulp Fiction. (1:15 a.m.)

If this is Boston, why doesn't anyone speak in a The Departed accent? I think I picked the wrong episode to liveblogg. Though Gorn has potential, maybe as a member of Kansas.

The Princess casts a spell to turn Gorn back to half-human. I was drinking when this storyline was established. Never mind.

Thundarr destroyed the Gauntlet Claw at 1:20 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time. Modern civilization is saved. No word on how the Sox did on this day in 3994. (1:12 a.m.)

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Tonight's episode: City of Evil.

A bunch of donkey-dinosaurs are pulling Ford Taurus's while our heroes are in pursuit. There's that split moon again. The bad guy is wielding a gauntlet that looks like The Claw and shoots lasers.

They just passed a sign for Swampscott. No shit. They're on a rotted highway. Is this what's left of the Big Dig?

Thundarr and bad-guy Sirrot are fighting. Thundarr wins The Claw, and then must return to "the village." Again. Another village.

Yawn. The bad guy finds another research lab, um, again. Labatt's is getting warm. Why did the runaway-planet arrive in the far-future of 1994, 14 years before these shows broadcast? Fourteen years from now I'll be like, 50. And we'll have flying cars. Cool.

Yep. It's official: We're in Boston. Thundarr just arrived at the remains of Logan Airport to meet the villagers. There is dancing around a bonfire. Cue Oookla and some slapstick.

Oookla sounds again like a drunken Beavis with the bit stuck in his mouth while Butt-Head wields a whip. It had something to do with Santa Claus. Oookla is da bomb, even if he is a low-grade Chewbacca rip-off with short-shorts.

Commercial break [blissfully]. (1:02 a.m.)

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Here we go. You know the story. "In the year 1994, from out of space comes a runaway planet hurtling between the Earth and the moon, unleashing cosmic destruction." Blah, blah, blah. "Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn, a strange new world rises form the old, a world of savagery, super-science and sorcery." Blah, blah. Here we go. Oookla kicks out a helicopter control panel. (1:01 a.m.)

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(EDS NOTE: Shit, this useless effort took up a lot of space. I'm going back to combine this all into one or two posts to make this look halfway readable, if not less execrable.)