The Icepick Cometh

Apropos of nothing: There were Kriegel-like sports columns I wanted to write, and then there was this one from the former Boston Sports Guy (Bill Simmons, who has been ESPN.com's Sports Guy for a long time, and was never as good as this after he moved from Boston to L.A. and the Sox in 2004 won their first Series since Oog invented fire — the ESPN platform seemingly went to his head).

Incidentally, this column is from the NBA preview of more than 6 years ago (before the 2001-02 seaosn, I think) and is currently apropos of nothing, except it was late one night and I was Googling and wondering if I could find this column. Really, I don't care about the NBA part of this column because it is so old (except for the Patrick Ewing line at No. 33 — that never gets old), but the Boogie Nights quotes are priceless. How he matched them to the NBA offseason was relevant at the time.